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While Dave's own life is in shambles, he's more than willing to  help you solve your own personal crisis or love problem .

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     Dave answers some of your questions!

 Virginia writes---  "am I too old to get rich?"

     No. The odds may be negligibly small but take heart in the knowledge
that no probability distribution permits a value of zero. In any case,
does it really matter? A hoard of money can, at best, buy off sorrow. But
some sorrows have a saluatory effect, and virtually every money-related
anxiety is ultimately a trivial issue in a welfare state.
      The Pencilnecks' cynical read on this:

     "They say after you die you must suffer rebirth.
      You even get to pick your new family on earth.
      But then everybody'd want to be born with a silver spoon.
      Imagine the line-up of souls outside Ethel Kennedy's womb."

Eddie Terrini writes---"is it true your life is in a shambles?"

     The answer is I have never been so content. The only ones whose lives
are "in a shambles" are the people who relied on me. . .
     But Buddha deserted his children. Jesus used Mary Magdalen and then
threw her away like the tail end of a banana with that little black hard
part in it. Ann Landers has brutalized a succession of husbands.
     In short, responsible people don't write advice columns. Nor do they
preach from knolls or from beneath Boddhi trees. They are too busy to do
more than occasionally wonder if their lives could not be a little better.
Anonymous----"why does love hurt so much?"

Two questions are conflated here. Why can't it end amicably, and why must
it end at all? The answers were neatly summed up in the third verse of the
Pencilneck's "The Three Laws of Buddhism":
"Buddha said that for every action
there is an equal and opposite reaction
and the delight of possession
will be matched by the hell of dispossession."

The reasoning here follows from the first law (first verse):
"you can nail it down, insure it, guard it with dogs,
purchase iron safes from mail-order catalogs,
but time takes it back like an indian giver
--is it so precious, a fallen leaf on a river?"

The solution to the dilemma of sorrow is straightforward (sixth verse):
"remember that time leaves nothing defiled
love the lover as your changing child."

In short, the answer to your question, at least as I interpret the
lyrics, is that typical love invariably ends badly because it is based on
possession and nothing can stay as it is. If you want to get off the
spinning roulette wheel of insatiable desire the first step is to quit
whining (whining is merely suicide without any of the dignity), put your
non-romantic life in order, arriving at the point where you do not need a
lover. This first step is also the last.

(NB this song is available on the remaindered copies of the album "New
Wave for Lapsed Catholics".)

After scanning the internet I should mention there appear two alternative
answers to which I do not subscribe. One argument is that some people are
just unlucky. But no statistical surveys have shown sorrow to be a non-random
phenomenon when the data are corrected for wealth.

A fringe argument supported by a variety of sorrow-conspiracy groups is
that record companies have secretly intervened in congressional
decisions and in the Department of Education to maintain an existential
angst among normal people so that their billion dollars in copywrited
music is not rendered meaningless by a national sense of contentment.
While I find it unlikely, this view is not incompatible with the
Pencilneck's exegesis of the Diamond Sutra.

            Hope that helps..................Dave

related Pencilneck songs on the topic of sorrow/love:
e.g. Cassady's "You can't love me like I can love myself"
or my "We're no longer young"

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